I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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