so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
