Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
