but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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