Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
