when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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