i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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