Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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