sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
