Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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