You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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