Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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