wat bout pragnant strippers??
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
