I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My vagina is officially offended.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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