I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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