dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
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I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
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I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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