I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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