Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
last night I used snow as a chaser
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
