i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
