I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
