Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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