All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
