I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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