the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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