I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
