I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
