it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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