If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
