Need sex. Gaining weight.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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