Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
