btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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