yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
