Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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