my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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