she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
