ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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