Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
meet me or not, i'm out of control
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
me + whiskey = a bad person
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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