sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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