Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Randomize
