Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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