i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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