you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
