I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
