All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
