who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
