no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Watching her eat just hurts me
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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