hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize