Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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