Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize