sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
