last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
