What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
