Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
nutella sex= disaster
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
