Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
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I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize