KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
