I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
