what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
