new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize