apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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