apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
