Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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