I could have mohawked her pubes.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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