Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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