WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
