Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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