Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
